Simon & Garfunkel Old Friends Tour (a review by special contributor Frannie Funkmeister)

Hello! My name is Francine and Larry Feathers is a good pal of mine. Larry has agreed to let me share my experience of the Simon & Garfunkel concert that took place at the Frank Irwin Center in Austin, TX. Thank you Larry for allowing my thoughts to appear on your blog! Thank you also to Larry’s loyal readers for taking a break from reading Larry’s adventures and to share in my adventure! Hope you enjoy it!

I attended the concert with my mom. Now let me set the record straight. I’m 25 years old and it was I that dragged my mom to the concert, not the other way around. I guess I’m just one of these strange people that doesn’t fit my own time period. When I was growing up their concert in Central Park was a thing of the past and Paul Simon was asking everyone to call him “Al” and he would call us “Betty.” I’ve always listened to music and watched television shows that were before my generation. And I’ve done so by choice not because I was forced to listen to “oldies” or watch “classic” television but just because I like to.  I can name more of the bands on the “oldies” radio station than my mom. I just like that music and that time period and I have a great reverence for it. Anyways back to the concert.

When I heard that Simon and Garfunkel were coming to Austin I knew that I had to go. I’m trying to make a conscious effort to catch bands whose popularity was before my own existence but who have continued to tour. I’ve so far seen Ringo and his All-Star band (which included members from the Who, BTO, and the Rascals), Johnny Rivers and now Simon and Garfunkel. I still have yet to see the Rolling Stones but that’s because they still haven’t retired. I expect the Stones to do at least a couple of more tours and maybe I’ll catch them then. For right now I don’t feel urgency.

I decided to take my mom because she is a great mom. She takes care of our little girl during the day while my husband and I are at work. I thought that having a night out would be a great way of giving her some extra thanks for all that she does for our family. My mom wanted to go because she said that she didn’t get to experience and appreciate the music back then because she was to busy concentrating on college.

The type of concertgoers for this event is pretty much what you would have expected, a mix between baby boomers still living the hippie life and very well to do baby boomers that could afford to pay the ridiculous ticket prices. (Highest price tickets were $185 a seat and the cheapest tickets were $50) And by well to do baby boomer you know what I mean. The men are dressed in their khaki pants and either polo or button down shirts with expensive watches. Their wives are wearing matching capri outfits with their clutch purses and bauble bracelets.

Mom and I arrived and were in our seats by 7:30 and the concert was supposed to start at 8 pm. The two of us are pretty reserved so we were happy to see that our seats were in a weird niche in the mezzanine section in which the only seats in our row were our two seats. There would be no annoying people behind us to accidently drop food on us and no annoying people to either side of us to fight over arm rests with. The only other concertgoers that we would have to deal with would be one row of people in front of us. And by 7:40 it looked good there was no one in front of us yet, only a couple drinking some cocktails to the right of the two seats directly in front of us. Being that my mom and are both small in stature we were hoping that these people wouldn’t show up. But I knew that these bozos would show up probably sometime after the third song, loud and obnoxious with their mixed drinks. Showing no respect for the performer or the rest of the audience. I’ve had to seat behind these kinds of people before at the theatre, sports games, etc.

At 8:02, the lights in the Irwin center started to dim. The crowd starts clapping and…nothing happens! The concert does not begin. False alarm! At around 8:15 the crowd starts chanting for the concert to begin. Still nothing.  But at this time the people in the row in front of us show up. A bald portly man, who I will refer to as Mr. Moneybags announces with his beer in hand, that he has tickets for these first eight seats. He keeps repeating so that everyone can hear. He’s pointing at the first eight seats. I thought to myself,  “Come on man we are all in the same section as you. We all know how much you paid for these seats because we paid the same. You are not impressing anyone!” 

You may be thinking now, “But wait a minute wasn’t there a couple enjoying cocktails in the row in front of you?” Yes, there was. I guess those weren’t their seats after all. I can only guess they went back to their own seats. Maybe like my mom and I, that couple had also wished that those seats would remain empty for the entire concert. Oh well!

Finally at 8:20 the lights went out and the show started. A video played on the screens with the sounds of Simon & Garfunkel playing as a soundtrack. Our seats were directly across from the video screen so we had a great view. The video showed significant events throughout the history of our country mixed in with pictures of Paul and Artie at their various stages in life during those time periods. The video ended, the stage lights went on and there were Paul and Art! Our seats also allowed us to look down on Paul’s now balding head. We also had a nice view of Art’s signature and ever present fro. I apologized to my Mom for how bald Paul was because I knew that she had once thought that he was really cute. (And he was!)  Mom also thought that Paul should have worn a nicer shirt. I agree it looked like his shirt was faded from being washed too many times.

Sitting in front of us, one of Mr. Moneybag’s friends was a lady I’d like to refer to as Drunk Lady. For some reason Drunk Lady thought that we would like to look at her misshapen feet all night. She took off her shoes and put them up on the rail. Every time I wanted to look at the rest of the band playing or the video screen I had to see those feet! But that wasn’t everything.  Drunk Lady apparently thought that every song revolved around her.

Mid-show Simon & Garfunkel were joined by their idols the Everly Brothers. (The Everly Brothers sounded fantastic! They were absolutely adorable!) When the Everly Brothers sang the romantic “Let it Be Me”, Drunk Lady turned to her husband and started rubbing his baldhead. She also started serenading him. Thank goodness I couldn’t hear her but I could see mouthing the words “let it be me.” But yes there is more!

During “Mrs. Robinson,” Drunk Lady again started getting “frisky” with the baldhead. She got up and did the quintessential drunk dance. She threw her arms in the arm and swayed back and forth. You know what I’m talking about. Apparently she was trying to seduce her husband a la “Mrs. Robinson.” She continued her antics when during the 1st encore, Simon and Garfunkel played “Cecilia.” But probably the moment that bothered me the most was at the end of the second encore while “The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feeling Groovy)” was still on she decided that she had had enough and began planning for the mass exodus from the auditorium. She pulled out a brush and started brushing her hair. She wasn’t even looking at the stage anymore!  Both my Mom and I thought, “Geez lady, when is the next time you are going to get to see these two genius performers together again!” I mean I soaked up every minute of the concert hoping that it would never end and this lady has become bored with it!

Well in the end the concert was a great experience. There were moments when you thought that the two of them would just fight and break up again, right in front of everyone. All of which is part of the reason why you would go see these two great guys, for the tension.  Simon and Garfunkel were as great as to be expected. Paul and Artie did two encores. We had hoped for more but I’m sure they needed to mellow out. If you know what I mean and I think you do.

My Mom and I had a great time together.  And I even got some cool souvenirs. I got a program and a t-shirt. But we waited in line forever. They had one huge line that was for people paying by credit card (which included me). We were the last people in line. My mom asked me, “Are you sure this is the line for credit cards?” I said, “Yes, there’s the sign.” The lady in line in front of us turned and asked, “This line is for credit cards?” She then proceeded to get out of the line. My mom and I looked at each other with the acknowledgement of what the other person was thinking. As we moved up in taking the lady’s place, my mom once again asked (but a lit louder) “Are you sure this is the line for credit cards?”  This time our plan didn’t work so we just waited until we finally got to the souvenir table.

Well hopefully you have enjoyed my adventure. I know it was a long but hopefully it read easy and quickly. Thanks again.
 Oh and go see Simon and Garfunkel if they come to your town! Rock on!!!