The Lisa Chronicles - Chapter 1 (written by special contributor "Alan")

Monday complimentary happy hour started at 5:30, I get down to the bar about 5:40 and “Lisa” is already there with drink number 1. After about 5 minutes “Lisa” is finished and ready for another drink. The second drink lasts about 10 minutes before she's done and ready for number 3. After 30 minutes she's had 3 drinks and is about to fall asleep on the couch. All of this in front of “Manager X”. As we're trying to decide where to eat dinner, “Lisa” says that she wants to go someplace that we can't get in Dallas, so I take them to a Mexican food restaurant that is on the lake. “Lisa” proceeds to order a grilled chicken sandwich, as if she can't get that anywhere in Dallas. Her excuse for not ordering something else was she wanted fries. After learning of all of “Lisa”'s strange eating habits, “Manager X” tells her she's stranger than (someone who shall remain nameless).

LARRY F. COMMENTARY:
1. Strangely, “Lisa” will eat chicken as long as it is thick. If the chicken is thin, she will not eat it. Conversely, if hamburgers are thick, “Lisa” refuses them. However, if there is a thin hamburger she is likely to eat it.
2. If you find the alcohol consumption described here excessive, you might be interested to know the following “Lisa” quotation on the final day of a recent “training” event in Florida. She said, “Man, I drank twice as much here as I did in Austin.” Based on the way she kept falling face first into her chicken at dinner the last night we were there, I’d tend to take her word on that. She seems to be spiraling a little bit out of control.