The Fourth of July

I think the 4th of July is my favorite holiday. To me it’s the same thing as Christmas without Jesus, nog, and spirit draining trips to the mall (people at the mall hate each other – especially around Christmas). Well, I guess the 4th of July has Jesus for he is omnipresent, but I think you know what I mean – the focus of the 4th of July is more on George Washington and people like that. The 4th of July is Christmas without the hassles of Christmas. For once, everybody seems happy on the 4th of July.

Speaking of George Washington, I want to tell you a story that I heard this morning on the English fox hound edition of Animal Planet’s “Breed All About It”. During the Revolutionary War, the generals usually traveled on horseback accompanied by fox hounds. George Washington especially cared for fox hounds. One day as he was going around looking for the British, he found the lost fox hound of British General Sir William Howe. Because he understood that some people (even enemies!) get sad when they can’t find their dog and that some dogs get sad when they can’t find their owner (even if the owner is an enemy), George Washington called a temporary truce and personally returned General Howe’s dog. That’s why George Washington is the Father of Our Country.

Last night I watched part of the movie version of “To Kill a Mockingbird”. Now allow me to take a second to update my Top 5 List of Fake Dad’s to Imitate if I’m Ever a Real Dad:
1. Ward Cleaver
2. Atticus Finch
3. Steve Douglas
4. Tom Bradford
5. Mike Brady
The addition of Atticus Finch knocked The Reverend Snow off of my Top 5.

And, if I ever have a daughter and a son they will be called Scout and Robert, respectively.

My friend Brandon once knew a horse named “Mark”.

The problem with this 4th of July is that my Dad and I aren’t in Indiana. It is really the best place to be for this holiday. There are usually lots of cheeseburgers and people we don’t get to see too often. My Mom, sister, and Kevin are up there, and they’ve already been to the Zesto and to Kingfish. Now I’m going to pack up Albert to go over and look at my Dad. We will eat meat, watch the Rangers, and sit there. There is usually lots of sitting there when I go to look at my Dad, because he likes taking naps, going to the bathroom, and not making any noise. May there always be a 4th of July!

P.S. Don’t read Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs. It is horrible.

P.P.S. In an ad in Friday’s edition of the Dallas Morning News, David McDavid Honda commands you to “Declare Your Independence with Zero Down!” I command you not to buy a Honda from David McDavid because declaring your independence in his fashion is nonsensical.