Two Years Left

Well I have some very sad news. This evening I went over to Style America to get my hair fixed again. Frustrated by my stupid looking head of hair, I announced to my female Asian beautician Bobby* that I'm about to the point where I want to shave off what's left. She advised against getting a burr contending that there is still enough there to work with. She continued, saying that "you probably have about two years left." (If you are unfamiliar with my head history, may I recommend that you read the entries called "Atlanta" and "Getting My Hair Fixed".)

Rest assured that I won't give up without a fight! In fact, I've been doing a little bit of research and I've developed a homeopathic hair retention strategy. By combining doses of kali carbonicum and natrum mur, I believe I can retain my remaining hair while regrowing hairs of old and reducing scalp grease. I'm not only going to defy Bobby's bald prediction, I'm going to develop the fanciest set of hair you've ever seen! So move over Mike Brady, Richard Simmons, Neil Diamond, Bake McBride, Kenny Rogers, Mister Rogers, Dick Versace, Fabio, Michael Bolton, Yanni, Artis Gilmore, Patrick Swayze, et al., this sonnuva biznitch is gonna put your collective hairdo to shame.

* I mention my female Asian beautician Bobby not because there's anything wrong with being female, Asian, a beautician, or Bobby, but because it's funny to be female, Asian, a beautician, and Bobby.