The Lisa Chronicles - Chapter 3 (written by special contributor "Alan")

The day didn't really get interesting until lunch. We went to a fast food restaurant near the office and got the food to go. As usual “Lisa: had to make a complex special order. When we get back to the office, she realized that they got the order wrong and put mustard on the hamburger. Yes, she actually ordered a hamburger. Anyway, since the mustard was only on one side of the bun, she eats the hamburger open face and throws away half the bun. The afternoon at the office was uneventful, but the real fun started when “Lisa” headed back to the bar for complimentary happy hour. By now the bartender knows her and already starts making her drink as she walks up without ordering. She proceeds to drink faster than she did Monday night. By the time she finishes her third drink in twenty minutes, she begins to laugh uncontrollably and has a huge smile on her face. She claims to not be drunk and continues to mention how good the drinks are. She begins drink number four, but it is not going down as fast because she's trying not to pass out in the chair. At this point Larry Feathers calls and she proceeds to tell Feathers all about her date last night. She then accuses me of telling Larry about it, before finding out that I said nothing and she was tricked into telling Larry herself. She's quiet upset at this point and very drunk, thus causing her to not be able to control the obscene gestures she's giving me in the middle of the hotel lobby. By now I'm embarrassed to be seen with her, luckily “Gertie” shows up with her baby and I'm temporarily saved. For some reason I end up taking her to dinner and we go to a deli near the hotel. “Lisa” asks the waitress what comes on the Turkey sandwich, to which the waitress replies just bread and turkey. Thinking this is okay “Lisa” orders it, only to complain when she gets it that it is to dry and she really wants condiments on it. I'm totally confused by this statement, since she normally takes everything off the sandwich, but I figure she's drunk and doesn't know what she's saying. I'm also convinced that no matter what she orders to eat, she cannot be pleased. I drop “Lisa” off at the hotel and I go to visit my parents, so at this point I don't know if she went back to the bar and met any other men, but I will find out tomorrow as she likes to brag about that.

To be continued...