Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Scatter-shooting

Since the last episode, I’ve arrived in Buffalo, New York. Here are some things in no particular order:

·Hey Four Eyes, if you are taking the Super Shuttle (1-800-BLUE-VAN), it is not courteous to make all of the other people wait 25 minutes later than the time that YOU arranged to be picked up causing me to miss my flight to Chicago, get a new flight through Washington D.C., incur an additional twenty something dollars in travel agency fees, and force me to end up having to sit on the plane next to the monster described next…

·Say, you with the sores all over your feet, the only reason I know about the sores on your feet is because you took off your shoes and stuck your feet right up there on the seat IN FRONT OF ME! In and of themselves, I don’t have a problem with feet sores, but they need not be placed in my direct line of sight, nude, and on purpose. My feet were fine right in the floor where they belonged. Plus, what were all those noises you kept making? They seemed to be originating from all different parts of your self that are not your head. You should be quarantined.

·Why do lots of people scream when they sneeze? I’ve tried it (in private), and it does not contribute to a more productive sneeze. (Also, placing your horizontal index finger below your nose and above your upper lip to stifle a sneeze a la cartoons really works!)

·It’s a drag to be in a good new place like Washington D.C. when you are marooned in the airport on a layover. It’s like being tied up in a chair with a bag over your head surrounded by a lot of good-smelling meats or cheese.

·If you’re ever in Buffalo and need a taxi, may I recommend Jim Krzywicki? He is nice and big and old, and drives car #72. Once, when he was small (in the ‘50s), he was helping his dad in his TV repair business when, suddenly, he delivered a TV to the home of hall of fame pitcher Warren Spahn’s aunt! He got an autographed 8X10 of Warren Spahn out of the deal. But, later, his mom threw it in the waste paper basket. I told Jim that I’d like to become his pen pal, and he said yes! At the end of my ride, he got out of the car to shake my hand. I thought that was nice.

·If you like strawberry shortcake you should go over to the Century Grill on Pearl Street in downtown Buffalo. I declare: IT AND TWINKIES ARE TWO OF THE BEST DESSERTS OF ALL! When I get back I’ll post a picture of it for you to look at. Plus I ate some fish (I have a less impressive picture of the fish. Let me know if you’d like me to e-mail it to you).

·I like being in cities where Jeopardy comes on during prime time.

·The idea of Texas being the “Friendship” state is a hoax. On average, the people in New York are much nicer.

·If you want to get a really good idea of how wrong slavery was and how powerful the human spirit can be, read Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave by Frederick Douglass. Frederick Douglass is a hero to all, and his book is only about 100 pages (no pictures).

·Learning about statistics is really fun if you give it a chance. Have you ever considered computing confidence intervals using the median of a sample instead of the mean? It can be done and I intend to learn how!

·Senator John Edwards was in the same hotel as me today (Hyatt Regency Buffalo) campaigning to be Frankenstein’s VP. I didn’t see him, but, if I had, I would’ve inquired as to his hair stylist. I think Senator John Edwards has fancy hair. Is it queer to campaign to be the vice president?

·I like people who are PhDs, and who would rather you call them “Janet” than Doctor. I think that shows a sense of humility that isn’t often found in PhDs, Cynthia.

·Buffalo seems pretty good. I can see Lake Erie out the window and there are lots of trees and different birds than the ones we have in Garland.

Until next time, when I write about a strategy for becoming less fat, so long everybody!

13 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Larry, it's your wife Connie. I miss you so much, the kids miss you too! When are you coming home? I hope you are enjoying Buffalo. Take a picture of Lake Erie for me!!

Your loving wife,
Connie

8:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that the nice folks back at the AFO would love to have a postcard from Buffalo. Just like the postcard of you swimming in Town Lake in Austin,we'd especially like one of you swimming in Lake Erie!

9:09 AM  
Blogger Larry Feathers said...

Hi Connie and anonymous!
Soon I will come back from Buffalo. As for Lake Erie, I've already been down there swimming and I have a postcard to show you exactly where.
I would've got my picture taken swimming in the lake, but couldn't on account of people here are against me (not the people of Buffalo, but the people of the OIG)!

11:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Larry,

I love being your pen pal and these stories are entertaining! Can I come to Garland to see you sometime?

Jim Krzywicki

10:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Larry,
May I suggest that you keep politics out of your blogs. I come to LarryFeathers.com because it is funny and entertaining and I don't want to have to be bombarded with someone elses political views. The Reagan blog is fine but come on "Frankenstein" Kerry?

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry Larry, it seems as if I made a bad choice in an earlier comment which had to be removed.

7:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is your wife (the only fake one you have)!! LOL Hope you are enjoying yourself without me, while I am slaving away at work! :( How was your Stats Training? Can't wait to see another blog!! Hope it's soon!

Your loving wife,
Connie Feathers

9:31 AM  
Blogger Larry Feathers said...

Hi everybody! Thanks for all of the comments, and a special thanks to Connie, J-Dub, T, and Jim (though you must be a fake). I am back at Garland and Albert is allergic to something that is going to require him to have to get into the tub first thing in the morning.

Let me just say that no matter whether I vote for John Kerry or not, he will still look like Frankenstein.

6:41 PM  
Blogger larrys-lady said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:20 AM  
Blogger larrys-lady said...

Larry-
I am very concerned. I just read a post, posted by one Connie Feathers.
Who in the H-E-double hockey sticks is she? I have been corresponding with you for years under the alias of CONNIE! I must admit that I feel violated!! One might say that you are a two timer. I would appreciate an explanation.

12:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These comments that are surfacing are starting to concern me too. So many comments come to mind, yet none seem too appropriate.
jw

9:44 PM  

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