The Atmosphere In My Office Stinks!

I’ve recently been extremely disturbed by something going on where I work. So I decided to write a song about it. I apologize in advance for going scatological on you.

Men’s Restroom Blues
(a parody of “Folsom Prison Blues” by Johnny Cash)

I smell the end times comin’.
They’re comin’ from the stall.
Just around the corner and
slightly down the hall.
My face is turnin’ purple,
But I’m afraid to breathe.
The fumes are overwhelming.
Seems like they’ll never leave.

How can any human
emit that kind of smell?
What must you have for lunch?
An entire Taco Bell?
I need to use the restroom.
I think I’ll wet my briefs.
Cuz I can’t go in the toilet.
The smell’s beyond belief.

(guitar solo)

It’s been over an hour
but I still smell the smell
I suspect is reminiscent
of the way it smells in hell.
I can’t hold it any longer.
I’m gonna go real fast.
And try not to inhale
all that gas he passed.

(guitar solo)

I’d nearly finished goin’
when the aroma hit my head.
Now I’m sad to tell you
that I am dead.
The smell in there was lethal.
He must’ve eaten a cat.
The OIG men’s bathroom
is where the smell is at.