Bimbo Bakeries

There is a Mexican bread company called Bimbo Bakeries that is building its corporate headquarters in the field next to my office. According to its website, the company is called Bimbo on account of Bimbo is the shortened version of the Italian “bambino” which means “small child”. I’m not sure what bread has to do with small children except, perhaps, that small children like bread. But who doesn’t? They could’ve just as well called the place the shortened version of whatever the Italian word for middle-aged man is. Anyway, why are they naming it something Italian when there are plenty of Mexican things to call it? They could’ve named it after whatever the shortened version of the Spanish word for old people is. They like bread. Plus they’re real Mexicans!

Bimbo’s mascot is a playful bear. The bear, according to the Bimbo website, is a symbol of freshness, quality, and service. I’ve never met a bear, but I bet there are a lot better ways to describe them than “fresh”. Bears can’t smell very good with all of the goopity goop goop they’re bound to eat. (Did you know that bears like eating pine nuts? So do I! But nobody can say I’m not fresh.)

The whole thing made me wonder, “Does Mexico even have bears?” so I went to Google and typed “Does Mexico even have bears?”. The first thing that popped up was a link called “Mexico Doesn’t Even Have Any Bears”. Further research showed that there are a few black bears in the northern part of Mexico, but certainly not enough to name a whole bread company after.

The corporate office has been under construction for a couple months now. For about the first three weeks all there was were three guys with what appeared to be shovels. They dug and dug without making much progress. Then out of nowhere, and without the aid of heavy machinery (except for a large crane that sat in the field without moving for about 30 minutes one day), a concrete slab was in place. Still there were just the three guys with their shovels. Then steel pillars went up. Today the thing is really starting to look like something, but there’s never been anybody out there working except for the three shovelers. I don’t know how they’re doing it, but these guys are magic. What these guys have accomplished makes a mockery of crap like Stonehenge and the Great Pyramid.

I can’t wait until they finish making the bread offices. I’m gonna go over there and get my eat on.