Oklahoma! Part I: The Grandison at Maney Park

I wish I hadn’t left my notes at work because I’m bound to leave something out that I shouldn’t. Anyway, I had the pleasure of going to Oklahoma City for work on January 10 – 14. I was accompanied this time by Auditor Vickie Warfield. Here’s all about it…

I like traveling with Vickie. Either she kind of likes the same kinds of stuff as me or she is most willing to tolerate me. In fact, I can’t recall a time when we’ve been on the road that she’s nixed one of my eating, sleeping, or shopping ideas. I appreciate her tolerance because I’m admittedly not the easiest character in the world to be around – especially for long uninterrupted periods of time. Indeed Vickie got a small taste of what it would be like to be married to me, and, between you and me, I think she rather enjoyed that aspect of the trip.

Anyway, we needed to find a place to stay in OKC. When I go out of town I like trying to find lodging that is out of the ordinary. One drawback to Oklahoma City is that there isn’t much in the way of out of the ordinary lodging. However, I found a bed and breakfast called The Grandison at Maney Park that agreed to give us the $65/night government rate. What a deal! I was going to get a big ol’ breakfast in the morning and leisurely walks through beautiful Maney Park at night! And Vickie was going to get to live the dream of being married to me (The Grandison is ranked by some publication or other as one of the Top 15 Bed and Breakfasts in American for honeymoons and anniversaries).

Before telling you about our stay at the Grandison, let me just make it perfectly clear that I liked the house and the people who own it. I would stay there again.

Before we checked in at the Grandison, we went to our OKC field office to take care of some business. At lunch time our co-worker Gina said she’d drive us past the house where we were staying so that we could see how to get over there. (That’s just the beginning of how nice Gina treated us while we were in town. She is the best!) Another guy called Warren came with us which made me glad because Warren is nice. On the way over I was telling Warren how I intended to stroll through Maney Park later that night. Warren warned against any such stroll because the Grandison is very near “the ‘hood”. Oh well. At least I was going to get to eat a big ol’ breakfast!

Let me quickly tell you about Maney Park. There is no such thing. The house would more properly be called The Grandison Next to Another Old but Less Well Taken Care of House at the ‘Hood. I couldn’t even tell where a park might used to have been. Still, I would stay there again.

That evening we went to check in. We were greeted by a dog in the foyer who growls at people. Welcome to the Grandison! After a couple of minutes one of the daughters of the man and woman who own the house came out, checked us in, and showed us to our rooms. On the way, we stopped at a hall closet just at the top of the stairs. The daughter showed us that the closet contained a dorm-size refrigerator, a coffee pot, and a couple boxes of cereal. She said (I promise she said this), “This is where you will have breakfast.” Then she took us further down the hall to our rooms. Our rooms were in the back of the house and upstairs. Next to our rooms was a back exit to the house where you can take an outside set of stairs down to the Grandison parking lot. The daughter said (I promise!), “You can take that back door if you want. You don’t even need to come through the front part of the house.”

I went in my room, removed the comforter (as is my custom), and lied down on the bed. I noticed a small spiral notebook on the night stand. When Judge Judy went off the air, I picked it up and started reading. “What a delicious breakfast!” “Loved the breakfast.” “Keep up the good breakfasts.” “That’s the best breakfast I’ve ever had!” “Your breakfast is da shiznit!” What?!?! I was reading a spiral full of past guests’ comments about their stays, and either these people were A) the most sarcastic people ever, B) the biggest fans of Wheaties ever, or C) we were getting the government rate breakfast. I kept reading…."Loved the Jacuzzi bathtub. The rose petals in the bath tub really set the mood.” Set the mood? So much for taking a bath.

The next morning I was relieved to determine that no lewd activity could’ve gone on in the shower as it had in the bath tub. (Still, I wore my protective briefs as I showered.) The reason I know that the shower hadn’t been soiled is that it could only accommodate one very small person. (To turn around in the shower I literally had to step out into the rest of the bathroom, rotate, and re-enter.) As is often the case in other peoples’ showers, the water pressure left much to be desired. I went to work every day with a head full of shampoo residue. My sensitive scalp rebelled against Oklahoma City shower water.

By now you’re probably thinking that I didn’t like Oklahoma City. Well you couldn’t be more wrong. Tomorrow or some other time soon when I'm more awake, I’ll tell you all about the rest of our trip. You’ll learn why I consider Oklahoma City the best city in America. I’ll tell you all about the places they have to eat, how nice the people are, how good of a job they did with Bricktown, and how tastefully done the Oklahoma City Memorial is. And then I’ll tell you all about my return to Texas and how it makes me long for Oklahoma.

Note to self: Tell them about 1) Oklahoma: restaurants, people, Homeland, traffic, downtown, etc… 2) Texas: Pizza Hut, Sprint stores, backed up plumbing, the cat getting hit by a car, Super Target, shopping carts, etc…