Musical Pants
Man, if there are two things I have they are A) a never ending supply of fabulous ideas and 2) the inability to capitalize on any of them. Because this is a problem that I haven't been able to correct in 32 years, I guess I might as well start telling you about some of my ideas so that you can use them to get rich.
From the one who thought of but didn’t do anything about such products and services as The Smell Recorder, Pi Restaurant, the Dallas Light Rail Shopper, Magnetize My Ashes & Stick Me In An Etch-A-Sketch Cremation Services, Risk Consultant / Insurance Company, "People You Hate" Urinal Accessories, and the Personalized See & Say (just to name a few!) here is my latest concept that will inevitably go to and around waste and your waist, respectively - MUSICAL PANTS!
Here’s the idea. Whenever you get up and start walking this way and that, the back and forth walking motion of your human legs sets off some sort of a thing that causes your theme song to start playing. All that from right inside your pants! Think of how happy you will feel when all of a sudden you get up to walk someplace and "Forever In Blue Jeans" or "She’s Like the Wind" or other starts playing. Hey! Nothing can be better than Larry Feathers’ Musical Pants.
Now pretend you’re a baby. Let’s say that you are trying to learn how to walk. For lots of babies walking is hard. But for you it is not hard to start walking when you know that you’re wearing my Musical Pants. I guarantee that you’ll start walking a little bit earlier than the rest of the babies as long as you promise to wear some of these pants.
My sister and her husband think the pants will be even more fun if the music speeds up as you speed up. I think they’re right. They support my pants.
posted by Larry Feathers @ 7:53 PM
2 Comments:
It's nice when people support your ideas.
My pants would play "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood," except on some days when I'm in a bad mood, and then they would play, "I'm Angry."
Musical Pants is indeed a fabulous idea! I'd like to put in an order for a pair now please. The one pair of pants that I currently own now suddenly seem so sad and mute. I'd like my new pants to play the bass intro to the Fat Albert theme song.
You could make pants that played different instruments (tuba, cymbals, etc) and form a pants marching band. The "musicians" would play their pants by jiggling their legs this way and that. Or you make them programmable and have different downloads for your pants (i.e. pant-loads). Just think of the possibilities.
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